Shame [Part 2]

Most human emotions are instinctual, but guilt and shame are learned emotions. We learn these because we are social creatures--much of our identity develops from how others relate to us.

The difference between shame and guilt is that guilt references something we did or did not do. Whereas shame is not based on behavior, it is embedded in our identity itself. Guilt says, “You did something bad.” Shame says, “You are something bad.”

Shame is endemic in our culture. As such, it may be difficult to recognize; it is present in hidden ways. Shame can subtle and may appear in many guises. If we don’t appear a certain way act or appear a particular way we may feel some shame. We are told that our value is in what we own, or what we know, or the titles we hold. Our culture says that you have to prove your worth; just being yourself is not enough. So we judge ourselves unmercifully in an attempt to be acceptable.

Meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg tells a story about a memorable conversation she had with His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, while she was in India. At one point during an event, she had the opportunity to ask the Dalai Lama a question …. FULL ARTICLE AVAILABLE ON ROBERTBRUMET.COM